Who’s up? Who’s down? Who won by virtue of not losing and who lost only because they didn’t win? For that info, we turn to the mysterious yet valuable Potato Index.
Corey Anderson +191
Your man Beastin Overtime needed less than a minute to knock out the former Bellator champ-champ and punch his ticket to the 205-pound grand prix finals. Then he went and got himself in a Twitter pissing match with Janny Blackjacks over who the best light heavyweight is, which is maybe not the best idea when the other dude knocked you out in the first round the last time you saw each other. Still, if he beats Vadim Nemkov and wins the whole tourney, that would actually mean something. Course if he does that he’ll probably still ghost Ariel Helwani’s show because his brainiac manager thinks limiting media exposure after a big win is the way to go.
Norma Dumont +3
It’s like you could see her, midway through the first round, wondering to herself, ‘wait am I going to be able to just sit here and jab-cross this chick from a safe distance all night?’ And she was. And so she did. And seemed to feel no special compulsion to do anything more than that. Good work if you can get it.
Aspen Ladd -145
She tried to replace the ‘missed weight’ headlines with ‘wins first fight at featherweight headlines.’ Instead she made us all feel like the frustrated coach who couldn’t understand what she was doing in there as Dumont racked up the rounds on her.
Vadim Nemkov +63
Yep, still good. Even beat the most dangerous man in any tournament – the unknown alternate.
Fight of the Night bonuses -50
Another week where the UFC opts not to give any bonus for Fight of the Night at one of these lackluster UFC Fight Night cards. Are you basically just admitting that the cool shit was limited to one-sided ass-kickings? Because it kind of feels like you are.
Jim Miller +182
Still our favorite fighter who seems like he finished cleaning the gutters and got off the riding lawnmower just in time to make it to the cage. What else do they expect when they schedule these fights on a Saturday? Already looking forward to watching him beat up some current UFC lightweight’s son at UFC 300.
Ryan Bader -78
Damn, dog. How’d you go from having a plethora of belts to having nary a one, all in like three fights? Might need Bellator to start that cruiserweight division so he can get another crack at fresh gold.
Junior Dos Santos +50
You see Mr. Why They Do That out there looking like a real pro wrestler? We don’t often say this when someone gets slammed through a piece of furniture, but good for him.
Justin Barry +92
Did … did this guy just invent a new way to knock someone out with a kick they’ll never see coming over in Cage Warriors? We’re into it.
Chuck Liddell +/-0
What’s the next best thing to just not getting arrested at all for alleged domestic violence? We guess it’s having the charges dropped pretty much right away while also immediately filing for divorce so you can both get the hell away from each other. We can’t exactly call it a happy ending but, uh, could be worse?
Andrei Arlovski +67
This dude he just beat was four fucking years old when Arlovski made his pro debut in St. Petersburg. With what would you hope to frighten or intimidate a man such as that?
Conor McGregor -474
All the obnoxious fucking DJs in the world and he has to go and sucker punch the one who seems like a delightful Italian man who loves pizza and his kids? Fuck outta here, b.
Brent Primus +81
It’s a cold, cold move to beat a guy who’s fighting on the same card as his wife, but that’s what you’ve got to do if you want to end up fighting for that Bellator lightweight title again. Also go ahead and tell everyone what bullshit it is that you’re not already fighting for the vacant strap. Why not, right?
Benson Henderson -64
It’s like we blinked and he’s lost three in a row, giving him an overall losing record of 5-6 since making the jump to Bellator.
Danny Roberts +55
How you gonna win a split-decision while also getting your scalp split all the way open? (Are we the first ones to make this observation? Please say yes.)
Nate Landwehr +47
Actual post-fight quote from this guy after pulling off the late submission victory: “The new game plan is as long as I don’t get beat up, I’m probably going to win. As long as I don’t lose, I’m probably going to win.” Do we even need to tell you how much we love this approach? So many fighters out there would have won if they hadn’t lost. They just forgot that key part. The part where they avoid losing.
Photo by Chris Unger/Zuffa LLC.
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