Hey Nathan, thanks for reaching out to CME Consulting Services LLC. We received your $40 via Venmo and your request to “figure out what to do about this motherfucking Khamzat bullshit or whatever.” We think we have a pretty good handle on where things stand right now, but it’s always helpful to begin by laying out the facts and looking at the situation critically.
For starters, it’s our understanding that you’d like to finish up this last fight on your UFC contract and then try out life as a free agent. It’s also our understanding that Mr. Chimaev has volunteered to be your opponent in that final contracted fight, and UFC President Dana White has said he is “100 percent” interested in making the fight a reality.
So the question before us is clear: should you take this fight if and when it is offered?
Here’s where we must address an uncomfortable possibility. No offense, Nathan, but this guy might beat you. But, you know, he’ll probably only “beat” you the way others have, which is to say by manipulating the rules and judging criteria and, as you might put it, running like scared little bitches. But still. The man is a pretty good fighter, plus he’s big and strong and knows his way around a takedown.
Let us say, just for the sake of argument, that he were to beat you. That would be your third consecutive loss in the UFC, and it would no doubt be accompanied by Mr. White denigrating your current abilities and past accomplishments in an attempt to drive down your value on the open market. There could also be – how shall we put this – certain physical consequences accompanying such a fight. But those have never seemed to bother you much before.
What we have to consider, for the sake of this worst-case-scenario, is how much it matters in the big picture sense. We hesitate to speculate too much on what your future plans might be, but it seems at least possible that they might include a boxing match against some blonde man by the name of Mr. Paul. If that were the case, would a loss to someone like Mr. Chimaev in the final bout of your UFC tenure really alter the financial equation so drastically?
We tend to think not, and one reason for that is exposure. Clearly, the UFC is invested in the success of Mr. Chimaev. Your bout with him would be featured prominently on whichever fight card it appeared on, with plenty of pre-fight promotion that gets your name in the news. Even if you were to then lose in front of this large audience, well, forgive us for noting that prior losses have not significantly damaged your personal brand or overall fan appeal. People like you, Nathan. They enjoy cheering for you. They don’t seem overly concerned with whether you win or lose.
You could fight Mr. Chimaev, accept whatever outcome results from it, and still remain a marketable commodity in a hypothetical boxing match with either of the Brothers Paul. It might even be better if you were to lose to a grappling specialist like Mr. Chimaev, since it would give you the opportunity to remark that you are sick of opponents who just want to hold you down and you would much rather stand and bang in boxing, where the paydays for popular fighters such as yourself are also much bigger and without onerous contract restrictions.
On the flip side, let’s think about what happens if you decline to fight Mr. Chimaev. According to the standard UFC contract, turning down an official fight offer allows the UFC to extend your contract by six months. Even then, the offer you do receive may be even less appealing, perhaps against someone lesser known who brings far less exposure to the fight.
One thing we can be sure of is that the UFC will want to end your contract on a loss if at all possible. And if you keep turning down uninteresting, unknown, or unfavorable opponents, your contract could be continually extended until the public loses interest or the Brothers Paul move to a Mars colony and/or are jailed for their part in a money laundering scheme.
Really, Nathan, there’s only one reason we can think of why you shouldn’t take a fight with Mr. Chimaev. That reason is spite. To accept this fight, at this time, would undoubtedly feel like playing into the UFC’s hands. We know you value your independence. You are very much your own man. Something of an iconoclast, if you will. To allow yourself to be manipulated by such a classic and well-used UFC scheme as this would probably sting a little.
But that sting, Nathan? That, as Marcellus Wallace might say, is pride fucking with you. And on the other side of that sting waits free agency, a potential big money boxing match, and an unfettered life outside the confines of a UFC contract.
We believe the trade-off is worth it for you. Furthermore, we think you should not only accept the fight but demand it. The sooner the better. And if the fight does not materialize for any reason? Please do not hesitate to suggest publicly and repeatedly that it is due to the UFC trying to protect Mr. Chimaev from ending up on the business end of a Stockton slap.
We hope that this advice has been helpful and useful. Please do reach out with any further questions or concerns. It has been a pleasure doing business with you.
Ben and Chad, CME Consulting Services LLC
Hey, if you made it this far and didn’t hate it, you should consider signing up for the Co-Main Event Patreon. There you can comment on these posts, argue with other people about them, even call us names or whatever. You also help support the CME and keep the discourse free and unfuckingfettered.